We’re always told addictions are bad, but I can’t support the idea that an addiction to cruising is remotely bad. Here’s my list of 11 signs that you are definitely addicted to cruising:
1) You use nautical terms on land.
Landlubber: Where is your house?
You: Oh, it’s just a starboard turn at the next corner.
2) Your ringtone is a ship’s horn.
And it terrifies everyone but you when it sounds.
3) You perform a muster drill when guests come over.
In case the Captain gives the order to abandon the house, you will be alerted by seven short blasts followed by one long blast on the ship’s horn and internal alarm system.
4) Meals must be cruise inspired.
Tonight we will be starting with a shrimp cocktail, followed by lobster tail, and finishing with Baked Alaska. Oh, and don’t miss the international parade of waiters.
5) You make dining reservations as if you’re on a ship.
Landlubber hostess: Welcome, what time is your reservation?
You: We are the early seating.
6) You pretend a trip to the store is a port of call.
Welcome to Target! Today, we’ll be experiencing this vibrant port of call on a shopping excursion.
7) All of your pictures in the house are from a cruise.
This one only cost me $20 and I got a free frame as well!
8) You’ve named your car after a ship.
True story: My car is named Mariner of the Streets.
9) Nightly entertainment at home is from the ship.
There’s nothing better than re-watching the Newlywed game show that you secretly taped aboard your last cruise.
10) You’re the official travel agent of the family.
You may not be an official travel agent, but you are the one the family turns to in times of vacation planning.
11) You know everything there is to know about cruises.
You can name any ship, identify specific amenities found aboard certain ships, what the tonnage of a ship is, how many guests each can carry, and what line they sail for. Basically, you have a PhD in cruiseology.